Now things have progressed to the point where I can say "I have a surgeon". Kind of like saying "I have a Prius" only way more ominous.
My last post ended with my waiting for the Nurse Navigator to get me set up with a surgeon. She did. I went in for an initial consult with Dr. Smith (his actual name) on January 10th. He and his office staff made me feel comfortable and got me scheduled for an MRI. Then... I was given ANOTHER pink bag. Hasn't the world, or at least the US got enough tote bags by now? Haven't we reached the saturation point? It was a pink bag.....Enough about bags...
The MRI was needed to determine the size of the mass so the extent / type of surgery could be decided upon. I went in for the MRI - fasting!!! on Jan. 16th. I had to be fasting because I needed to be face down for this MRI. No puking in the MRI tube allowed. Loud thumping, humming and banging aside, the 40 minutes lying face down listening to classical music (between thumps and bangs) wasn't too bad. The imaging center staff was pretty nice and tried to be as supportive as possible. The humiliating XXL disposable pants I got to wear for the procedure were certainly the highlight of that day! NOT! Just so you know, these lovelies are cinched in about 18 inches. I think I might have been able to fit 3 of me in them.
With the diagnostic MRI out of the way, the next thing to do is wait... some more. I have an appointment to go back and get the results from Dr. Smith on Jan. 19th.
Wait, read, try to get work done... wait. Don't worry because all the facts aren't in yet.
It's January 19th. My 1st appointment of the day is with my NEW (and improved) GP. I LIKE her a lot!!! She is caring, knowledgable and seems genuinely interested in my getting the best possible care. She refers me to a local physician who is a breast cancer survivor. This doc's specialty is Complementary and Integrative Medicine and she's the Director of Integrative Oncology and Survivorship. Sounds like a good fit to me. We'll see. I'm starting to feel like I have a "cancer staff". Seriously though - I'm mostly feeling like I'm developing a support team to get me through this the best way possible, with only the briefest feeling that I'm getting sucked into the "cancer treatment industry". That last bit is negative, I know. I am doing my best to stay positive and attract only good things.
Appointment #2 on Jan. 19 is with Dr. Smith (still his real name). Dear hubby meets me there to look at the MRI results and discuss the next step. I'm actually quite relieved that I don't have to wait any longer. The 3 of us do introductions in a tiny exam room and then go out to a computer to view the MRI results. The visible mass seems to take up the majority of my left breast. He reads me the dimensions of the mass from the MRI report. 5.5cm x 7.2cm x 5cm. WHEW! it's a doozie, for sure. I know immediately that I'll be having a full mastectomy. No one has to tell me that. It seems quite obvious to me. Then Dr. Smith says that there are a few "suspicious" looking lymph nodes. .......... I start to choke up. Remember to breathe, deep breaths. I don't know much, but I do know that lymph node involvement is NOT good news. Dr. Smith says it is quite possible that the needle biopsy has aggravated the suspicious nodes and they may calm down eventually. Breathing a little more normally now.
We go back to the exam room to discuss options. Dr. Smith is careful in his approach and gently works his way past the lumpectomy option and why that is not what is indicated. I 'rip off the band-aid' and say "we're looking at a full mastectomy here, yes?" Yep, that's what is needed, as well as removing 3 'Sentinel Lymph Nodes' so they can be tested while I'm under anesthesia. Dr. S says the pathology report on the lymph nodes will come back in about 20 minutes - while I'm still under. Based on those pathology results, they can remove any offending lymph nodes during that surgery.
My surgery gets scheduled for January 31, 2017. I do not want a "Boob Voyage" Party. I read about that. People actually do that! huh. I've mostly come to grips with not having a left boob after the end of January...I think.... sort of. I mean, they've served their purpose. I was a cute(ish), perky teen, a moderately attractive person in my 20s & 30s, a radical militant breastfeeder when my kids were babies. My boobs have had a useful life. Now 'the girls' are drooping a little and one of them is broken. Time to get rid of broken things and focus on what works.
I still need to discuss with my surgeon - see how easily I've adapted to this "my surgeon" terminology - anyway, I still need to talk to him and the plastic surgeon that I'm scheduled to see about getting rid of the right side too. Oddly, my greatest source of anxiety right now is the fear of being lop-sided. I just don't want to be uneven. Maybe this is coming from me being a Libra - we NEED balance. Having a real boob on one side and a fake or reconstructed one on the other side just doesn't sit right with me. And honestly, I've felt since high school that I was just a little too big. I think I might enjoy some time being flat. No more bra shopping!!! What a relief! I'm finding the positives. really....
I'll aim to post again after I meet with the plastic surgeon and / or after I call the surgeon's office about a mastectomy on the right side too. Heck, if I'm already going to be under anesthesia can I get a little tummy tuck too? I don't think my insurance would cover that.
Let us all hope that that is the LAST time I feel inspired to mention insurance coverage.
Wishing love and light to all! 🌹
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